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Al Gore Can Save the World From Global Warming for Only 15 Trillion

Al Gore’s new group is demanding 15 trillion dollars to save the world from global warming.  The first part of the plan is to buy carbon credits from a company not so incidentally owned by Al Gore.  I can promise to save the world from T-Rexes.  I have spent 12 years perfecting the T-Rex trap.  For the low price of $1,000 per person, I can guaranty you that you will never be killed by a T-Rex.  If you walk into my office and prove that you were killed by a T-Rex, my company will pay you ten million dollars.  Now what’s a guaranty.  Al Gore won’t promise you that, will he?

A group of executives who want to fight global warming has published a new report calling for countries to spend up to $600 billion a year over the next two decades to boost green energy deployment and energy efficiency equipment.

The Energy Transitions Commission’s (ETC) report claims “additional investments of around $300-$600 billion per annum do not pose a major macroeconomic challenge,” which they say will help the world meet the goals laid out in the Paris agreement.

ETC is made up of energy executives, activist leaders and investment bankers, including former Vice President Al Gore, who would no doubt get a piece of the trillions of dollars they are calling for.

ETC’s goal is to “accelerate change towards low-carbon energy systems that enable robust economic development” and limit global warming. ETC’s report comes out as the Trump administration considers whether or not to stay party to the Paris agreement, which went into effect in 2016.

Now, before you reach into your wallet, just consider this.  Al Gore wants 1.2 trillion dollars every year for the next 10 years and he will not guaranty that you don’t die from global warming.  I’m only asking for one thousand to cover you for your entire lifetime against death by a T-Rex and if we fail you, we give you 10,000 times your money back.  Are these your only two options?  Of course not.  You can go to any back alley and give the first man you see all of your money, then have him drop kick your testicles into the next county.  But in the end, you get the same benefit from all three.




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