harris

An owner of a pizzeria in Illinois gave his delivery drivers the night off and made the deliveries himself.  One of his deliveries was to an empty house with a For Sale sign in front.  When he got to the house, he was jumped by four thugs who tried to strangle him to death with no effect whatsoever.  One of the thugs reared back and hit the driver, who just gave him a death stare.  At that point the four ran for their lives.  Little did they know the driver was a state senator.  More importantly, they didn’t know that the pizza delivery driver had played linebacker for the Minnesota Vikings, the Kansas City Chiefs, and the Oakland Raiders.

Napoleon Harris
Napoleon Bill Harris
Position: LB
6-2, 255lb (188cm, 115kg)
Born: February 25, 1979 (Age: 37-211d) in Chicago, IL
College: Northwestern (College Stats)
Weighted Career AV (100-95-…): 33 (2961st overall since 1960)
High School: Thornton Twp. (IL)
Draft: Oakland Raiders in the 1st round (23rd overall) of the 2002 NFL Draft.

Harris was known for his great strength and physical agility.

Spokesman Sean Howard said:

“They put a choke hold on the senator, but to no avail. They were really trying to choke him to death, and he was just too strong. He out-powered all four of them.”

“As they were all beating on him, one guy just went out of his way and really hit him hard, and Napoleon never moved. He just looked at him like Hulk Hogan, and from that the guys knew that we better get out of here, because we can’t get this guy down.”

The description Harris gave to the police lead to their arrest.  The four are now being investigated for a murder in Georgia the four allegedly committed last month.