• January 24, 2022

Avain Terrorist Takes Over Big Box Store

A Tesco Big Box store had to be evacuated yesterday following a bizarre attack by what can only be described as an irate avian terrorist. Fortunately, no one was injured in the incident and the terrorist finally was forced to withdraw without making any demands on authorities. All this excitement happened on the busiest shopping day of the week, just as evening shopper were filling the store and looked on in horror.

Officials said the terrorist in question swooped in and took over the store located in Garras Wharf, Truro at around 8:30pm and began harassing customers and staff. One employee told SWNS: “I was unaware of its presence until it nearly hit me in my head.” During the initial assault, another customer was reportedly hit in the face by the intruder as it entered the store.


Eventually, police and store officials were able to force the intruder from the store after having to suspend operations and evacuate employees and customers. A spokespersons said the establishment was  forced to close for about 75 minutes as staff attempted to apprehend the intruder. In addition,  more than 50 people  had to flee the business leaving their carts in the ilses, unable to complete the purchases of their groceries.

The spokespersons said that eventually the irate seagull was captured by a store employee after it had taken up an observation location atop a large display of cat food. From that location, the animal screamed and squawked at persons that came near it. But while one employee distracted the beast, another was able to sneak up behind it and capture it.


The animal was safely removed and released outside after over an hour of taunting workers and disrupting store operations from atop the IAMS cat food display. It is not know if the Bird was trying to make a political statement or is just upset with cats in general. As of this time, no charges have been filed and the bird is in the wind after fleeing the scene.

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