• March 29, 2024

Incredibly Stupid Liberal Quotes

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Cheryl Crow

“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.'”

(This would only work if you wipe with Bounty, “The Quicker Picker Upper”)

Joy Behar

“Isn’t it a little racist to call it Black Friday?”

(We have to call it Black Friday because if we called it Chartreuse Friday, the gays would riot)

John Conyers

“I love these members, they get up and say, ‘Read the bill … What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?'”

( I see an opening here.  What if we were to write a 2,000 page bill that eliminates the death penalty for unborn children.  We could combine that with a change in semantics.  Instead of fetus, we could say “Guest Children”.  Instead of unwanted distraction we could call them “undocumented babies”)

Rosie O’Donnell

“Don’t fear the terrorists. They’re mothers and fathers.”

(Little known fact…She ran a gun running operation for the ATF that went by code name, “Fat and Furious)

Al Gore

“During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”

(The gay lobby loves him because he is the leading cause of lesbianism in the United States and hotels around the world)

Nancy Pelosi

“Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs.”  

(She must be counting the population of all 58 states)

Bill Clinton

“African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.”

(No, that’s not racist)

Harry Reid

“This war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything.”

(He made that comment 2 months before the surge began)

Michael Moore

“There is no terrorist threat. Yes, there have been horrific acts of terrorism and, yes, there will be acts of terrorism again. But that doesn’t mean that there’s some kind of massive terrorist threat.”

(Moore was trying to prove that he was more than just another pretty face.)

Barbara Boxer

“Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I’m still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.”

(That is as profound as when Ogre asked “What if D-O-G spelled cat?)

Chris Dodd

“Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again”

(Looks like he started 8 days early)

Melissa Lafsky, Huffington Post blogger

“[Mary Jo] would have thought about arguably being a catalyst for the most successful Senate career in history … Who knows — maybe she’d feel it was worth it.”

(So, is she saying that Kopechne was dying for Kennedy to be a senator for life?)

 

 

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